Self Motivation and Vanilla Slices

One of the things that I love most about this new active lifestyle, is that I get to watch the 'fat programs' on TV (especially after Xmas and Easter when everyone is feeling a little plump) whilst eating (or scoffing) a vanilla slice without feeling the slightest bit of guilt (for some reason when I watch these programs I have an over whelming urge to eat something the 'fatties' are told not to). I'm ashamed to say that I actually feel a little smug. So I'm supposedly obese and really I shouldn't be smug or scoffing that vanilla slice, but the fact is I got my own arse off my ever so comfortable (rented) sofa and through my own self motivation, donned my trainers and ran down the street again and again and again. There was nobody there to say 'you need to do this' and for the first 3 months there wasn't even the incentive of weight loss (It's impossible to lose weight by running to the end of your street and back FACT). So if I find a little self satisfaction in other peoples misfortunes I will embrace it.

Equipment addition. I saw an advert on the TV where several women with pert, tanned and exfoliated derrieres (hanging out of the bottom of there ever so tiny shorts) were bouncing around in a pair of Reebock trainers (you know the ones) that claimed to tone you up while you walk (Reebock easy tone a whopping £75). Walk being the operative word, was what I clearly missed whilst daydreaming about strutting down the high street with a butt like theirs. The influential power that this ad had on me was amazing, I made a bee-line to the nearest sports shop and bought a pair of these miracle trainers and you guessed it I went for a run. After a few sessions of pins and needles I researched the reviews (a thing I really should have done prior to spending such a vast amount of money) and indeed quite a lot of people (probably blonde) were taken in by those derrieres and mistook that bouncing around for all purpose trainers. Now my £75 pair of trainers (still sparkling and white) are used once a week at an indoor aerobics class (great investment number 2).

So one pair of running (sorry walking and bouncing) trainers down I thought I would go and invest (more wisely) in a suitable set. I went to the local independent running store (wearing a pair of plimsolls and therefore no socks, obviously feeling very prepared) and perused the shelves carefully, trying on each pair until I got the perfect fit for my gait and left the shop with a large smile and a feeling of accomplishment. I'm lying. I went straight to the trainers with the shinny three pink stripes tried a size too small and insisted that I didn't have to try on the next size or the other shoe (I was in a rush to watch the last episode of USA’s Biggest loser, where they take their final weigh in- the best part for a fatty TV addict). I wanted them instantly (sound familiar) but left the shop a little confused as to why I had put myself in a situation where I could've made the same mistake twice. Despite having 2 weeks of blisters and applying lots of vaseline I grew to love my impulse purchase.

My next investment was not on a piece of equipment but it was to book a place at my first 10K race and subsequently (feeling very optomistic at this point) my second straight after :.0

Cake always wins the race!

For me running is about stress relief. If I miss a run or a fitness class I get stressed on top of the stress that I wanted to rid in the first place. According to my trusty magazine, stress can lead to a reduction in the amount of weight loss or even result in weight gain! Imagine that you busted your balls (theoretically) every day for a month but because you were stressed over work etc you had a zero pound weight loss or even worse you gained (ooh la la!). It’s a catch 22 occasion, you run to de-stress and lose weight but because you run because your stressed you never lose weight (argh remind me why I do this again!). So the solution is to have a quick fix to stress relief yes? hmmmm food? ....

So, I started running with a gay friend of mine. I state that he is gay not because I want to show off that I have a gay friend, but because I would like to recommend them or actually him in particular. I never feel like he is judging me. I am a very sweaty runner (hence the chafing) and also I tend to run with my head hunched like Quasimodo (not a good technique I know!) so I'm not giving off an attractive vibe and he jogs on oblivious (at least I think he does). Despite having a better personal best (PB) without a running partner, I do find that having someone there to keep the pace or have words of encouragement can considerably improve your performance. Plus, the first 20 mins of our run is gossip filled and if I don't keep up I don't get the gossip.

After a few weeks of running he suggested we start going on an organised 5K park run, at 9am every Saturday in the city. So you’re thinking why??? Why would you get up at stupid o'clock to go for a run in the park? (which I have to add involves getting on a bus at 7.30am). I've got to say, I tend to think this when I wake up on a Saturday morning and I'm pouring hot water for my tea on my cereal (porridge for slow release energy). Addictions make you do silly things!

The first time we did the park run we arrived a few minutes late, which meant we had to peg it to the start line (by which point I was already pulling the Quasimodo pose). Annoyingly, they'd already set off but we just carried on running for the next 5K feeling a little disorientated and lacking a good warm up (excuses). However, I was happy with my first performance despite my porridge sitting comfortably at the top of my oesophagus. More importantly we were back home for 10.30am just in time for Saturday Kitchen.

The second session I did alone. It was this cities park run year anniversary, and so the regulars were wearing fancy dress; Scooby doo, giant presents, sparkly or highly fluorescent gear, super heroes and many more. This created a really nice atmosphere amongst the runners as though we were all part of some long running joke (no pun intended). Everything was fine until I was around 4K in and a bloody giant cake over took me! After the initial shock, I tried (very hard) to overtake but he was on it (like a car bonnet). The thing is it felt like a message from the running God…cake will always take over!

The shopping spree of an amature runner

So I caught the running bug. Despite being a complete novice I was determined to not look like a beginner, this obviously can only be achieved by buying all the new gear. First purchase; a women’s running magazine, this was my running bible in the initial stages (I quote this magazine to the skinnies when I attempt to know what I am talking about). There is always a section for the newbies -which I have to say becomes a little annoying after you've bought your 5/6th edition at such a high price- I have to admit though I was taken in by the beautifully toned runners in their capris and sports bras (weirdly the models in fashion mags have little if no affect on whether I purchase a product or not) - I remember thinking this could be me (in 10 years).

I searched for the cheapest sports website (sports.direct) and bought my first pair of trainers (pink Reeboks), black capris and some Nike shorts and waited patiently for their arrival. I remember the very day (sigh). I pulled them out of the bag and instantly assumed they had sent a size for a small child. Nope, I had to fit my large derriere into these skin tight leggings that were supposedly a large (it was not a pleasant sight). Despite the bulging fat deposits and the clear orange peel affect I donned my capris' and brand spanking new trainers and set off on an epic journey (of 1.9 miles). Perfect! Apart from being a little conscious that my butt was on show to the high street! Next purchase long vest top that covers said body part.

After a month or so I started to feel the reduction (or maybe toning) of my thighs. One sunny Saturday morning I donned my Nike shorts and my now long vest top and set off on my way (still 1.9 miles). A pro runner knows what I am about to describe. Being a larger lady my thighs sort of touch in the middle (gross I know) so a constant rubbing of the material and my thighs omg! it felt like carpet burn, not only that under my arms as well (major chafing).  Next purchase Vaseline!. I have to say I haven't worn the shorts for a while with fear of a re-occurrence (even if my thighs no longer touch in the middle as much).

Me knowing me, I had to try and keep my running experience variable. I had to create a competition with myself to run faster and for longer than the previous session. Next purchase Nike sports band (rocking up an increasing bill at this point). It was amazing I was running for around 20 mins in no time, this was a massive achievement; I could only run for 15 mins at my thinnest (10st.2lbs). However, this was short lived my sports band dyed on me after 2 months (common apparently), after a re-occurrence after sending it back I gave up  (imagine the disappointment). This caused a detrimental effect on my running; I was annoyed with the thought of running because it reminded me of my bad purchase that I loved so much.

But after a week or so of sulking and the guilty feeling returning (I could still see the pro's running up and down my street) and the skinnies asking if I was going for a run tonight I set off on my merry way. So if you thought that running was a cheap sport, think again.

The beginnings of an amateur runner

Writing a blog was strongly suggested to me, because I have acquired an addiction, that a growing percentage of the world share. This addiction can take over your every thoughts (I'm a little eccentric at times). As a result my friends have to listen to me talk about it constantly. The thing is I'm very much aware that it bores the hell out of everyone that doesn't share this addiction, i.e. my house mates, but I am unable to restrain myself from sharing every single step of my growing obsession with them. So you can see that it is of up most importance that I share my obsession in a blog, before my friends refuse to engage in conversation with me without fearing I will go on and on about my much loved hobby of running, yes running.

I've always enjoyed the idea of running and pushing my body to its limits but unfortunately I have always been -and potentially still am- an elite runner in a large women’s body. To get a picture of me, I am a 20 something year old women, around 5"7 (and a bit) and weigh a whopping amount (on my scales) which according to popular opinion puts me in the obese category. Now I am not going to blame this on a thyroid problem or slow metabolism it is primarily because my second addiction (which I should've previously blogged about) is food.  However, I don’t want you to think of me as a 'fatty' because I am not. I simply look like an average girl in the street; I can safely say unless you're a super model or live in LA you would not give me a second glance in the street.

My running addiction started just over a year ago. I had recently stopped playing rugby (badly), due to time restrictions (hmmm). I desperately need to find another hobby that I could fit in with my busy schedule. I also needed something that would reduce my stress levels to a relatively normal level. My answer came from pure guilt. I had recently moved into a new lush shared house, in a lovely green (ish) area, this sort of area always attracts those healthy freaks that make you feel like you should be looking after yourself more and maybe stop eating like your still a student on limited pay.  Every day there was a constant stream of people running right under my front window, fortunately this wasn't that everyone on the street (a very long street) was a runner, as I later found out there is a running club around the corner. Had I known this prior to taking up running would I have felt less guilty (as they are pro's and not necessarily the 'norm') and never taken up this obsession.

So just over a year ago I set off with my skinny house mates down the street, wearing a pair of 3 year old tatty trainers, aiming to run further than the 'skinnies'. Luckily this wasn't much of a challenge ;.) But my second aim was to make it back up the street before I revisit the food I'd eaten only an hour prior  (major amateur mistake no.1). This single 10 minute run was a massive slap in the face! You are not an athlete and the progression to having an official status (if this can be given even now) of being a runner is going to be a long time off. I scanned copious amounts of websites to increase fitness (I still do this) as quickly as possible, this is where any normal person would have said, right I'm getting a gym membership thus, the simple truth is that running was/is not a quick fix solution to my 'fatty' problem.

Another insight into my personality (the skinnies will back me up on this) is that I am a very determined human being and as I mentioned earlier I am very much an elite athlete in a 'fatty' suite. So two days later (when I had forgotten how much of an embarrassment I was) I set off on the same route and no it felt no better and I was still very much hanging out of my arse!. This was the beginning of me becoming an amateur runner...